As a millennial, my love of sitcoms runs deep. One of my favorites is the Robert Townsend series "The Parent'hood". It centered around a melanated American family in NYC with a father who was a professor (played by Townsend), a no-nonsense but nurturing lawyer for a mother, & 3 charismatic mischievous children. Some critics state that the show was a less meaningful take at a Cosby Show spin-off & while that take may have merit, I loved it. Especially as a New Yorker myself & so many POC expressing not being able to relate to the Cosby family as a whole.
The show often highlighted the father, trying to grip his head around understanding how to approach his children's unique experiences growing up in the 90's in comparison to his own raising. As art often imitates life, the eccentric friends + family and dream sequences added a unique element, unlike its more serious predecessors. In "real" life many of us spend most of our time envisioning possibilities in our head, much like what's shown on the show. The wacky surrealist scenes given were a humorous way to reveal how the mind wanders while trying to gain inner standing. The truth of the matter is no one individual has it all figured out, whether they have good intentions or if they happen to not live up to the hopes of others.
With that said men are not by default providers or protectors.. even IF/when they become a parent. We are all spirits experiencing humanity to build an understanding of self & humanity alike. This leaves the energy that is associated with fatherhood “up for grabs” in a sense, much like so many other experiences. It is a choice (for some a radical one) to do what they feel is morally right. When we realize that each of us has a different “moral” compass we can begin to better understand our POV on scenarios that matter as opposed to someone else’s. Much like Robert was continuously trying to ensure he can relate to his kids while not becoming overbearing, many of our fathers are doing the same in the ways they know how.
Personally, I've been lucky enough to know many amazing fathers, from my own family to extended family members, & even men I've met throughout life. To say it’s a sight to see is an understatement.. any “human” operating from the vibration of love to the extent of sharing those qualities deserves a hat off & bow because it’s not easy nor is it mandatory as many of us know.
For those with estranged connections here's a nugget of wisdom that may bring you peace, clarity, or a hearty laugh.. sometimes a parental figure "dropping the ball" is part of a divine plan for you to have a clearer understanding of self. While this is not an easy concept to lean into, it can be a pivotal step in you transforming how you view the father figures in your life if the relationships haven't been positive ones. If you've survived anything in life I'm sure you recognize how you ended up being the driving force behind pushing yourself past trials or tribulations. Whether you believe in a higher divine power or not, you can't deny what you have experienced or that you managed to get through whatever once ailed you. When faced with "unfair" or egregious circumstances, think about how you're able to transmute the energy being fostered into one that can fuel you to be better.
When one is able to take this approach a major weight is lifted, and questions like why can exist & be answered from within. This removes the sentiment of doubt, shame, or confusion toward your existence or the journey of another.
At a pop-up I recently did at the York 365 venue located in Jamaica, Queens, I was graced with the presence of two fathers who went out of their way to purchase gifts for their daughters a day before Father's day. 🤣 Nothing says “I LOVE MINE” like centering the gift of giving towards your family when society is pushing a narrative to celebrate self. Whether you are a “biological” father, a stepdad who’s a big stepper, an uncle with a master plan & the will to share it, or simply a man who fosters community for the youth in a way that teaches them greatness is within reach .. YOU ARE APPRECIATED. #HappyFathersDay